"The Jamaica Job"
The whole job could've been made into a movie
with all the drama and the length of the project...
Act I: "The Office"
Year 1993. A man who owned a high-end travel
agency got in touch with me to redo a room in his office building so that it
would go from a one man office, to a one man - one woman office. No problem! (Oh
there, the Jamaican reference has slipped out already.) It was a challenge to
squeeze the space without it getting too cramped. I talked with the two people
to get an idea of how much space they needed for their movement and for their
storage needs. Lots of ergonomically shaped counters and strategically placed
sound absorbent panels for 2 phone conversations, lighting, shelving, file
drawers, cord management...
It worked out great I thought. But when I finished
installing it, I got a funny feeling that all my effort was not going to be
appreciated for long, and I was right. It turned out that this was just a test
job, before I got the big one. I never even got a chance to take a picture of my
carefully calculated office configuration before the room was gutted and
replaced with a single table to act as a mini-conference area. It was never
going to be a 2 person space, it was just a test. It wasn't an overly expensive
office job, but it was pretty weird to see the sweeping curved counters and
fixtures poking out of a dumpster in the alley weeks later. I got paid, I
guess it wasn't my business what he did with it.
Act II: "Designing & Making Furniture to
Endure Humidity, Salt Water and Hurricanes"
The main act was going to be outfitting much
of my client's villa in Jamaica which was still under construction. It
needed some simple but well built dressers, standard shelving and
then also a few stand out pieces. One of them being a wall unit that would
house stereo equipment galore, a karaoke machine, TV etc. It was a lot of gear
and it needed to be designed carefully for spacing, within a plastered cement
opening. I contacted him soon after I got the blueprints for the
place, and asked if he could get me the finished opening size for this wall
unit, because if it was 1/2" off, or more, the piece wouldn't fit. There was a
pause on the other end of the phone, and then he slowly explained that there had
been more than a few contractors on this job that was already years in the
process, and the blueprints I had were not current. I asked if there
was someone down there who could call me soon with dependable dimensions, and
again, it was a "no." Then he asked me: "What are you doing
tomorrow?" ... "Uh, working, the usual, why?" ... "There's a flight for
Jamaica leaving tomorrow at 3pm, find your passport and your tape
measure." My obvious reply: "No Problem!"
So I got to the villa in its state of construction
and pulled out my tape measure only to see that the opening had in fact stayed
true to the old blueprints, and the measurements matched the 3 dimensions that I
had embedded into my memory by now. I measured all along the wall to confirm
that there wasn't a bow or anything anywhere... "112 3/4", 112 3/4", 112
3/4", 112 3/4", 112 3/4", 112 3/4".... yup, it's going to fit. Now what?
My return flight was 2 days later. Now what you ask? Come on, It's Jamaica
mon!! Gooooood times.
I got home quite refreshed and got right at the
whole project. Maple was picked as the main wood for the project
because it was something that you wouldn't ever see on the island, and birds eye
maple was obviously more exotic, so it was used for the front of the wall unit
and the other significant pieces. The highest grade of lacquer coated everything
everywhere to protect against the humidity and termites. Due to
the continuation of the revolving contractors, I didn't get down there to
install for another 18 months. Crazy.
I was told that the new contractor on site had
everything I'd need, "so no need to bring any tools." I asked: "So there's
a table saw on site now?" ... "Yes." ... and nail guns, compressed air,
drills and everything??" ... "Ya ya!, Everything!, don't
worry!" Soooo, I only packed my trusty Japanese hand saw, a
trim router and a couple of favorite hand tools, and my suntan lotion and set
off." ...
Act III: "Installing a Villa full of
Furniture Without Tools."
It should have been done in 4-5 days with lots of
time at the end of each day to lounge around the poolside bar and work on my
sunburn, but no. I ended up having to cut lengths of wood with my failing
Japanese saw, and then clamp a straight edge (from the remains of my crates) and
use my trim router to clean up the saw cut. With 7 days available to
complete the whole installation, it took 6 long days in the humidity. The
Jamaican labourers called me Superman because I just kept going, fitting all
these fixtures to the walls and installing cabinets with tired hand tools.
Then, they found out that I actually made all the stuff
too! Then they thought I was an alien! Some of them were actually scared of me I
think.
The villa was surrounded by an 8' stone wall with
5 highly trained German Sheppards who were disciplined not to eat a hunk of meat
flung over the wall laced with poison.
There was a crew of guys working inside, and a
crew working outside. If it started to rain, then the guys outside would come
inside and sit down, so the guys inside would sit down too. This meant that if
it started to rain, my work space was suddenly filled with 50 guys sitting on
the floor watching me and telling me to "stop working mon."
There was a woman who sat in one room all the time
who just sat there slowly bursting every single bubble in the 3/4" bubble wrap
that I put in my huge crates. She didn't even do it with any sort of
rhythm, it was maddening:
"pop!"....."pop..pop.pop".....
"pop......." ".....pop"
..... !!!! Oh well, I had a job to do, and obviously on a
different timeline, so I got to it and tried to enjoy it.
The wall unit went in fine eventually, except the
fabric on the doors that housed the speakers had gotten stretched a bit after
sitting in my crate for a year or so. I managed to iron it out with a clothes
iron I got from my all inclusive hotel. Once again, I used left over crate
parts, this time as an ironing board. These parts were disappearing everyday;
apparently becoming parts of peoples' homes.
Another significant piece was the bar (pictured)
which had a flowing counter top that "bounced off the wall" and continued over
top a cabinet housing a sink and bar fridge. The flow of the top was to look
like a visual continuation of... the moat that was running through the great
room . That's right, who doesn't have a moat with a fresh water stream from
the nearby mountain tops, going through their living room?? Just stunning.
Standing at the bar and looking to the right, there was a stellar
view of the ocean with an invisible edge on the pool. (See pic.) Yes,
that's what I had to look at every day I was there. I like the
stainless steel "guard rail" I put on the back of the bar's birds eye maple
countertop, probably came in handy.
There was also a concave liquor cabinet I created
to go above the bar, but due to new electrical fixtures, I wasn't able to slam
dunk that piece up on the wall and get a picture, drats.
The 6th day was actually not too bad; I did manage
to gear down a bit before the 11th hour. I finished installing mid afternoon and
made my way to a tin shack restaurant off the beaten path and had the best meal
of the week: goat's head soup, complete with mysterious bits of matter in the
broth. This soup and the local people were a refreshing change from "the
compound" where I was assigned to stay. It was a chance to get one step back
closer to reality after working in an environment that was being created for
movie stars.
16 years later now, I'd do some things
differently, but I could take another job like this one. Some time in January
would be fine to go and measure openings.
